Going Postal

“There is a woman working here who is a total riot.  If she is behind the counter as you wait in the 50 minute line (behind 3 other people), you will be both extremely amused by her, all the while crossing your fingers and toes that you don’t get her.  But if you can chill out a little and not get too hung up about the line, take a moment to enjoy her stand up comedy.

You’ll know her, because everything she says sounds like it is being read directly from a script, and she inflicts no emotion or punctuation into her words.  Today, in line, I witnessed this interaction:

Employee: Ma’am you will have to remove the labels from this package before it can be mailed As a service to you I will lend you my personal pair of scissors which you will need to return to me

Customer: Oh, yes, sure. Thanks. (Holds scissors, looks perplexedly at box in front of her, which is covered with mailing tape and labels). Um, is there a certain way you’d reco…

Employee: Ma’am I am lending those scissors to you as a favor I do not need to lend you my personal pair of scissors but you do need to remove those labels

Customer: No no, that’s cool - I was just wondering if there was a technique involved or something?

Employee: Ma’am those labels must be removed I don’t care how you do it

Charming. Hilarious. PLEASE let me get the less dour woman standing at the window next to you.”